Lost in thought...

Its tough not to think, its more difficult to keep thinking, and its worse when the thought of someone or something keeps hovering around you till eternity. Some one told me once that i need to come out of this...yes i know i have to...but well, i dont really know how i am supposed to be doing it...yes, i know i have to divert my mind...but what could be a possible distraction, apart from the thoughts that are still lingering in my mind?? Joining the gym?? Or maybe Dance classes?? Or even better, self defence?? All of them are valid...but nothing really helps as long as i wont put in my efforts. A friend told me that one reason why I'm not able to get out this mental depression is that I myself dont WANT to come out of it...i WANT to keep thinking about it...yes...true...very true...he's right...

i miss home...far away in mumbai...i miss my friends out there...Santosh, Vadi, Neha, Prachi, Dips, Archu, Harshu...those days were real fun...its been more than two years now since i left the wonderfully "on-its-toes" city "aamchi mumbai" and settled here in "Namma Bengalooru"...life is great here...but its a camouflage...u never really can know what colors the city will show u...but yes, its a nice place to live in...

2 years of independence tought me many things...responsibilites, freedom, professionalism, financial aspects...and....love...it tought me how to love selflessly and unconditionally...by "it" i surely mean the "him" in the city...and by him, i mean, my Best Friend...he made me realize that im a smart, responsible and a brave girl...he made me realize that i can be a great friend, he tought me how to fight my weaknesses...those 2 years were both fun and fear...of love and hate, of delight and disgust, of happiness n sorrow...and yes...of losing and yet loving...its past, but why is it that i wanna hold on to it? he told me that life is to just let go...but it looks tough...very tough...i feel left out, lonely, craving...i feel lost...lost in my own thoughts...