Those Days at Home, Sweet Home...

It was a beautiful Sunday morning. And it was a holiday. But Amma wanted me to study...as exams were approaching very soon. I was in the Vth standard then. Amma used to take tuitions then; we were about fifteen children in my house, all in the range I to VI standard. I was waiting for my classes to get over, as I wanted to go out and play...the clock struck eleven, and there I was, running towards one of the houses and calling out to a girl, "Chhoti Neha!!!!!" I called out to another girl... "Badi Neha!!!", "Bahaar!!!", "Pallavi!!!", "Bijina!!!", "Khelne aa rahi hai kya?" Within minutes, we all gathered in the ground, thinking what to play. We argued a lot, and then finally settled to our favourite game, Langdi Chipdi... :-)

That was about fourteen years ago. For me, fourteen years sounds really big, but for Pappa, Amma and Akka, it is as if I just now passed out of school. They say that for parents, their kids will remain kids, always, how much ever they mature, how much ever they achieve in life, or take responsibilities. Very true. I must say, that I have been pampered a lot, by my parents and my sister, and I used to totally enjoy it!! I miss those days now... :-) But, in spite of being such a spoilt brat, I used to be very scared of Akka. It was like as if Pappa and Amma had given her the responsibility of taking care of me, and Boy!! Was she sincere!! It is impossible that two sisters dont fight...and its the same case wid me too...Akka and I have fought like crazy!! There would be no stopping us...I've hit her, bitten her so many times, pushed her, pulled her hair...everything!! I used to love interfering her when her friends would come home...she used to get so irritated!!! I would go in the room, where she used to sit and gossip with her frens, and sit next to her...she used to hate it. She would scold me, and then the fight used to start... :-)But that was when I was very young. By the time I came to 8th std, the realtionship between us had changed so much. I had begun to respect her, and more than anything else, she had become my best friend...someone I would always confide in, some I would always approach for any kinda advise...Akka is the best thing that could have ever happened to me... :-)

Pappa used to take tuitions for me in 9th and 10th stds. Those days used to be fun. There used to be about ten students in his class. He, just like any other teacher, would ask all of us questions. Wait, lemme correct myself. he would ask everyone questions, but me. I knew the answer of every question he would ask, but I would never get a chance to answer. That angered me so much!!! I would fight with Pappa after the class, "Why dont you EVER gimme a chance to answer your questions Pappa???" "Appu, I know that you have the answer to all my questions. And that is exactly why I dont ask you. Bcoz, I want others to think, rack their brains you see. Not everyone is as intelligent as my Appu". And that was it...it used to make me so happy. I would feel proud, that Pappa considers me as the most intelligent student in his class...I used to think, "After all, main beti kiski hoon" :-) Pappa would never express himself, and we too have fought a lot, but inside that shielded man, was a soft heart of immense love and affection...something which I have always been able to see through...

Then there were those days when nothing was going right for me. Life looked miserable. It was almost everyday that Amma would scold me for something or the other. It looked as though they had all begun to hate me for all that I was doing. Now I know I was wrong, very wrong. But then, I never realised. I used to never speak to Amma, and vice versa. All that I would get from her was bitter words. Seldom did I realize that those words only would make me what I am today. Of everything that was happening at home, Amma was the one who was suffering the most, and not me. But yet, she never gave up. She wanted me to be alright, she wanted me to recover from all my problems. And today, if God has made me capable of writing this post too, its only bcoz of her prayers. I would have been a nothing without her. But I wish I could tell Amma and Pappa, that I'm sorry for all my mistakes, and I'm proud to be their daughter. I'm really very lucky to have them as MY parents. I love you Amma & Pappa...

I was jobless even six months after graduation...very frustrated, and desperate to get a job. With my sister also not around, it was very lonely. Amidst all this frustration and loneliness, I used to have refreshing doses of Pav Bhaji, Akki Rotti with Badnekayi Bajji, Masala Dosa, Idli Sambar and so many more from the world's best cook, my mother. In November, I got a job offer from a company in Bangalore. Pappa and Amma encouraged me to take it up, and shift to Bangalore. I know it would have been very painful, but thats how parents are right, always giving and compromising...I left for Bangalore, and there ended my beautiful days in Home, Sweet Home, Aamchi Mumbai...

Today, I'm completely settled in life, I have achieved a lot...money, a great job, immense recognition, and also, I have met my soulmate. And very soon, I'll be flying to a faraway land, on the other side of this earth, and definitely lead a happy life. And the credit for all of this goes to Pappa, Amma and Akka. They have made me what I am today...they have moulded a good-for-nothing Savita into a very brave, strong and a beautiful woman. Thank you Pappa & Amma for giving me such a beautiful life...thank you Pappa for always encouraging me to go forward and never look back, thank you for never scolding me when I failed in my engineering exams, Thank You Amma for all your prayers, thank you for those wonderful early morning birthday gifts at my bedside, Thanks a lot Akka for always being there for me, thanks for all your advise, and yes, thanks for slapping me that day when I came home late after playing dandia :-)....Thank You Pappa, Amma and Akka for all your efforts in finding my soulmate...Thank You for giving me such a wonderful future...I Love You...

There is so much more I wanna write...but I guess with moist eyes, it becomes a bit difficult...so I should stop here... :-)

The Voice

“I Love You”, said a voice to me on the 12th of June 2007. I was spellbound!! I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t react…I didn’t know whether I was happy or sad. All I was doing was to pray…pray that this wasn’t a dream…pray that for once, God is not gonna let me down. “Say something!!” I heard. What could I say? Did I really want to let that voice know what I felt? I was very scared to accept it. God was being too generous; He had plans to present before me an unimaginable beautiful future, and He was telling me to grab it…but I was scared. That voice was all I had to talk with. I desperately wanted to call that voice as “MINE”, but was worried if, once christened “mine”, what if it would fade away for ever in the next few seconds? I wanted that voice to hold me tight, I wanted it hug me, kiss me, protect me…yes, I wanted it to Love me…and Yes!! That voice did love me!! Then why was I backing off??

“Ok, so you don’t Love me?” said the voice.

“No no, nothing like that…Its just that ---“

“Then? Why aren’t you saying anything? Did I hurt you? I’m sorry if I did…”

“No no…not at all!! Well…actually…”

I really really wanted to pour my heart out, but I was stuck with no words to say…but I knew I HAD to do it…this was my only chance…and so, with lot of will power, but yet very shyly, I said, “I Love You too……”

Its been two months since I committed myself to him. Its been two months since we started talking to each other. Its been two months of bliss. But, yet, its gonna be another two months until I see him. Strange isn’t it? I have been in love since the last two months…with a person I have never met. It still is not making any difference, and the fact that we have never seen each other doesn’t change anything. I haven’t seen him, nor touched him, nor felt him, but I have heard him…yes, that’s it. I have heard him on the phone…and it’s the voice, the abstract presence of him that I have fallen in love with.

When I talk to him on the phone, I don’t know how well dressed he is, I don’t know what exactly he is doing while talking to me. But one thing is very very evident, and that’s his concentration towards me. Nothing else matters, except me. I still sometimes wonder, if it’s a dream, and I do kinda begin to believe it, but then, reality shows a thumbs down to that feeling, and brings me to face the wonderful truth…that I’m in love!! Yes!! I’m in Love!!

Counting days is so easy, yet so difficult. And the irony is, when you count days, somehow the days go much much slower!! I have been counting since the 12th of June, and the 2nd of November, when I would see him for the first time, looks like an eternity!! But I believe in the fruit of patience (“Sabar ka phal meetha hota hai” He hates this saying :-) ), and I know that soon, very soon, that he is gonna come and take me along with him to a beautiful world…of just me and him…yes, he’s gonna be mine soon…and very soon, “The Voice” is gonna become “My Voice” forever…