Questions...... Answers??

This is another episode to the story of Rags and Vita. And for those who havent read it, you can find it here and another one can be found here. As a recap, I must mention, that Rags and Vita arent together anymore, as in, of course they're friends, but they are not and never were (and wont ever be!! :D) a couple. Vita is already married (from link 2) and Rags was married much before (from link 1). This story is more about Vita than Rags.

Vita was serving breakfast to her husband on a Wednesday morning. She was rather silent today. In fact, she wasnt herself since a couple of days, and Roy had noticed that.

"Veets, are you ok? Whats wrong with you dear?"

"Nothing Roy, I'm fine... just feeling a bit lazy thats all."

"I think you're lying", teased Roy. "Is there something you wanna tell me honey?"

Vita suddenly felt so guilty. She couldn't even look into his eyes. But she knew she had to lie."

"Not at all sweetheart. Why would I keep anything from you? Trust me, I'm fine."

"Well, Okay then, I wont force you, coz I know you'll come up to me if need be :). Just rest for a while, and have a hot cuppa coffee. I'm sure you'll be fine... Take care, and have a good day love..."

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna work from home today. Dont really feel like going to work."

Vita kissed her husband "buh-bye" and he left for work. The second Roy drove out of their car garage, Vita gave up her pretentious smile, and tears rolled down her cheeks. She felt terrible, as she was lying to him. She was being unfaithful.

It had been six years since Vita and Roy got married. God hadn't blessed them with a child yet. They so badly wanted to become parents. They had everything in life, but yet, it felt incomplete. Vita always felt, that among all other medical factors, she too was a reason for they not having a child. Vita had never surrendered herself completely to Roy. She thought she was still in love with Rags, and that she couldnt get over him.

Rags and Vita hadnt exactly been in close touch since Vita got married. Well, they used to chat now and then, but their priorities in life had changed. Rags was totally into his married life, Anaita, his new job, etc, and Vita was also busy concentrating on Roy, and his parents, and of course her job. Amidst such a hectic life, husband, work, in-laws, she always thought of Rags, and whether Rags was thinking of her too. She had hidden so many feelings, moments and questions deep down inside her heart, and it was getting too tough for her to get rid of those emotions.

"Did he ever love me? If yes, then why didn't he ever tell me? And if he did not love me, then why did he get so close to me? Why did he make me feel so special all the while? Did I not deserve to be loved by him? What was wrong with me? What did he see in the other women he dated, that he could not find in me?" These were the questions that would "spam" her brain all the while. At the same time she also thought, "Why am I thinking about Rags? Does he even deserve the importance? What does he think of himself? That he can play with my heart however he wants? He is such a coward!!"

"STOP IT!!!!!!!! STOP COMING IN MY DREAMS!! STOP DWELLING IN MY HEART RAGS!!!!!" Vita lay spent on the sofa, as if, all the energy had drained out from her body. It had almost been an hour since Roy left for work. This was happening almost everyday. Vita knew she had to do something about it. She wanted to talk to someone. She decided to call up Ted the very moment. She sprang to her feet, reached for the phone, and dialed his number.

"Hi, you have reached Ted's voicemail, please leave a mes--" It was the answering machine.

"Hi Ted, Hope you remember me. This is Vita here. Long time no see, yeah I know. Wanted to talk to you about something. Call me whenever possible. My number is 672-886-1209. Bye"

The minute she hung up, she almost regretted leaving that message. But she knew she had to talk to someone, and Ted was the only person who knew about her feelings for Rags.

The phone rang at 3:45 pm. It was Ted.

"Hi Veets, how have you been? Long time lady!!!"

"Hi Ted, Im fine, thanks. How are you?"

After about five minutes of the usual "hello-hi"s, Vita came to the point.

"Ted, I have been wanting to talk to you since such a long time...er...its Rags. I think I still love him Ted. I want to talk to him just once."

"Are you crazy Vita? Rags has moved on with his life. He loves Anaita, and they're expecting a new member in their family any time now. Do you really want to get into all this?"

"I never wanted to Ted!! But I am just not able to dedicate myself to Roy! I feel I'm not doing any justice to our relationship. It has been six years... six long years Ted, and every single day, I curse myself for not being able to reciprocate with the same love that Roy showers upon me!!I feel terrible!! I need your help Ted!!!"

"What do you want to do Vita? What do you want ME to do?" asked Ted.

"I still have so many questions in my mind, which were never answered. I just want to know if he ever loved me... if he ever felt attracted to me. And if he says that he's never loved me one bit, what was our chemistry all about? What did the dates and candlelight dinners mean to him? Nothing?? Why did he always make me feel so special?? And what about those special moments that we spent together? Did they not mean ANYTHING to him?? I want answers to those questions Ted!!"

Vita was in tears. Every single memory she recollected about Rags hurt her all the more. It was like she was wincing in pain.

Ted tried to console her.

"Veets, relax. Take a sip of water if you wish to. I can hold the line."

"Now tell me, do you want me to tell Rags that you want to talk to him?" asked Ted.

"Well, I really dunno if I should. But these questions have been eating me up since the last six years!!! Yes, I think I WILL talk to him. Please ask him to call me Ted. I erased all his contacts a long time back. We haven't been in close touch since almost two years now. It has been mostly limited to Hi and Hello."

"Sure Vita, I'll do that, but are you sure you wanna do this?"

"Yes Ted. Better late than never."

Vita waited for Rags to call up the whole day. And the next day, and the next day. It was 1:30 pm, that Friday afternoon when the phone rang. Vita was working from home today as well. As soon as the phone rang, Vita just knew it was Rags. She lunged towards the phone, but took a deep breath before picking it up.

"Hello?"

"Hi Vita, Rags here"

"Rags?? Rags?? Is that really you?? How have you been? I have been waiting for your call since the last two days!!! Why dint you call me Rags? Have you forgotten me completely?? Wh--"

"Shhhhh. Shhhh. Relax Vita. I am speaking with you now, am I not? Tell me, how are you? Ted told me you wanted to talk to me about something. Is everything ok?"

"Er........um.....I dunno if this holds any importance to you, but I have been wanting to talk to you about this ever since we became great friends. "

"Hmmm. I think I know where this is going."

"Rags, It has been six years since I got married, yet there hasn't been a single day when I haven't thought about you. We parted so suddenly that I never got a chance to ever open up my heart to you. Well, I know that you always knew about my feelings for you. But Rags, there are so many unanswered questions that keep boggling in my head, that I cant help but think about you. What happened to "US" Rags? What happened to our chemistry? "

"Veets, do you really think it is necessary to talk about all this? Why do always dwell in your past? Come out of it! It will affect your marriage..."

"Then answer my questions Rags. Even if they aren't what I wanted to hear, I will atleast be convinced that its over." Vita insisted.

"Vita, I dont think its worth it. I have a family to look after, you're married too. It would be wrong if we --"

"THEN WHAT DID ALL THOSE GESTURES MEAN RAGS??? Why did you always make me feel so special? Why did you take me out for dates and candle light dinners?? What about those special moments that we spent together?? What was all that Rags??!! Were you NEVER attracted to me? Did you never ever have any feelings for me? Dint you ever love me Rags? Dint you ever love me even once?? What was it that we once shared? What was the spark, the chemistry, the passion that was so evident between us? Was it not love Rags??!!!"

"Vita, listen to me. I wont say I wasnt attracted to you. But that was just a phase. And it was such a long time back. I never gave it that much thought. And now I've--"

"And now you've moved on? Without giving a single thought about me? So this is it huh.... this is it then!!!!!"

"Veets--" "No Rags!! I dont wanna listen another word more. You know what, I was wrong. We shouldnt have had this conversation. I never expected myself to react like this, but I'm....I'm.... "

"Honey, I'm home..." That was Roy. He was early today. Vita was in the room, and she could hear Roy calling out to her.

"Roy's home. Bye Rags. Dont call me back." She hung up.

"Heyyy.... how come ur home so early?? It just 2:00 pm..."

Even before Vita could finish her sentence, Roy planted a kiss on her lips, and hugged her tightly and sighed. He was very sad today, and Vita could make out by his body language.

"Roy, what happened?? Is everything OK? Talk to me honey..."

"I worked there for eight years. I gave them so much. I sacrificed my personal time for them. I contributed much more than the others!! And they just sent me home today, saying that today was my last day at work. I lost my job Vita!!! And to top it all, they rejected my green card application, and my visa expires in three months!! We have to go back to India asap...I just cannot believe it!! Its so difficult to deal with things now. It was only a month ago that we bought this house... how will we sell it in this recession?? How will we handle all this??

"Roy, dont worry... everything will fall into place. Its just a matter of time. This is just a passing phase... I'll be there for you always..."

As she said those words, Rags' words kept ringing in her head. This was exactly what Rags was saying...

"Vita, its only because of you that I am what I am today. You are my biggest reason to live honey. Had it not been for you, I dont know what I would have been. I love you so much Sweetheart!! I am the luckiest person on the planet! With you, I can face any difficulty that comes my way. Dont worry, I know everything's gonna be fine. We deserve to be happy, and content. And we will be." Roy expressed.

Vita was overwhelmed with tears. She kissed Roy on his nose, and hugged him tightly. She was smiling. Suddenly she was so happy to be married to Roy. She had realized her mistake, and she decided to let go of Rags' thoughts. She was so sure that no one could ever love her as much as Roy. She was lucky to be his wife. Vita had moved on, in a matter of minutes. Now, she did not want any answers, as she did not have any questions at all in her head. Her heart was at peace now. She did not have to pretend anymore in front of Roy. Vita was ready to face all the hardships coming her way. With Roy. Forever. She wanted to be there for him in every single turn of life. She wanted to be a better wife to Roy. She wanted to give him all that she never did in the past six years. Vita was falling in love. With Roy. Finally.